Oh, for the love of.... really? PANTIES? This poor child. I hope he was paid handsomely for this. Being known as the "Staydry panties" boy, can be awfully damaging!
Bonus-- even in 62, the zip code system wasn't in place, so it still has that old timey addressey feel!

No! No! This will never do! Our A.D.D. generation will never make it through that story! Make it simple! Make it snappy! I have to admit, when I see these ads with the mini novel attached, I sometimes wonder how that approach would work with newer products. I doubt the form will ever make a comeback. Now it's buy, buy buy! buy now! Buy quickly! 25 cents off! Limited time!! Special offer! No C.O.D.s!