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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

What is a man?

Okay, kids. Time for another bona fide 100% certified stark raving rant.
George Carlin has talked about it. I think I've made reference to it once or twice. The pussification of America.
Before I go any further with this, let me note very briefly what I do. I'm a merchandiser. When new products hit the shelves, I am often one of the first to see them. Today I happened across "mens" grooming. Why do I put men in quotes? Because, quite frankly, no real "MAN" would be caught dead using some of this stuff. What is happening now is the skin care companies have learned that the new generations of boys like to primp, preen, and pluck just as much as the gals! What does that give us? Skin toners, under eye cream.. in short, WOMEN'S SKIN CARE.

Why is this an issue with me? I guess it's because this country is no longer producing "MEN". Let me tell you something about real men...

With a MAN, his word is his bond.
A MAN doesn't worry about the wrinkles and such that come with age.
A MAN often has calluses on his hands.
AND..he doesn't care.
A MAN is not afraid to get hurt once in a while.
A MAN will mow the lawn, cut down those limbs, get up and check the roof, clean the gutters, wash the car, and do some other odd jobs around the house--on the same day!

Men don't worry that their skin is a little dry. They don't care if their hair isn't quite right. Men get dirty when they work on their car. Men cut down a tree and then go fishing. Men wear the same clothes for days at a time. Trust me on this.

But todays boys aren't destined to do that. After mommy and daddy pay for college, AND room and board...AND transportation, they hit the real world at the ripe old age of twenty something without a clue in the world.

Now, I'm not exactly Lumberjack John, but I wouldn't be caught DEAD using some of the crap they are coming out with. Give me soap to wash, shampoo to wash my hair, an a fresh blade and some gel to shave. I'm good. And you know what? I DO work on my car when I can. I take apart and fix my lawnmower. I cut down small trees. (I cut down trees. I wear suspenders and a braaaa.. I wish I'd been a girlie.. just like my dear mama...)..sorry..suddenly had Monty Python running through my head.

Anyway, if you are a guy reading this, look at yourself and the world around you. Yes, we are in a technological age, but we shouldn't forget our roots. Once upon a time, a man took pride in being a little dirty and grizzled. It meant something. Now you have to be pretty and smell good.

There's really....really...something wrong with that.

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